meta doodle dandy

meta doodle dandy

What about when everything changes and we’re left with remains running through our fingers like sand? Can you raise your hands and see through the holes at the stars that lay beyond? Are you free? Are you clear and soft like the clouds below your feet?
Yes you, aren’t you just so cool.

There’s so much beauty in life and yet people have such a hard time knowing it (and by knowing it I mean experiencing it, the way you get to know someone). Part of it is ignorance, good old God-given, parent-influenced ignorance.

And it’s okay.

For me it’s about finding ways of expressing it. I can’t really know something until I express it. Sometimes a simple ten minute journaling will do the trick, other times it’s a damn discourse with someone and the beauty arises out of that synergy.

But I don’t have to be anyone else, anyone in particular. I think that’s what makes so many people afraid to express what they are seeing or feeling. Somehow, what others see us as, in our minds, is more important than expressing what is true and pure.

We taint our own experiences with the drabness of expectations.

When you’re on top of a mountain, looking through the wind, above 90% of the population in the world, you sort of see that with clarity. Things come a little easier, your movements are more precise, more fluid, and the way in which you see the world is just a little more innocent i.e. untainted. There’s no one around to be concerned with. It’s a beautifully satisfying selfish endevour.

this is all very meta but i must persist

And then, when you’re alone in you’re quiet little room at night and you begin to feel a little lonely you’ll know what I’m talking about. No one is afraid to feel lonely when they’re indeed alone. And loneliness is part of the beauty too, it’s a shadow on the bottom of a pear, the imperfection of Mona Lisa’s smile.

“So what about all of the other emotions that make life worth the living”, you ask?

What about them? You don’t need a damn discourse on joy or bliss or amazing sex, you need a discourse on how to be lonely. It’s not an incredibly easy thing to do. Just like falling in the mud. Everyone slings their arms around (ultimately no purpose if you know you’ll end up in the mud anyway), and has big wide open eyes, disbelieving the fact that they’re falling, and even turn away, as if they could walk against inertia.

Loneliness is the mud and you might as well face it, smile, and open your arms as you fall. It’s quicker, less painful, and, if you can be a little abnormal, mildly enjoyable (granted I would never be so convoluted as to put loneliness in the category of joy unless we got real esoteric and remembered that every experience is part of the present eternity that is Love and Joy.. whatever).  And when you crawl out, beginning to grin again but a hell of a lot dirtier, you’ll be satisfied ’cause you’ll know what loneliness has to offer, you’ll have come to know it.

So treat the rest of your emotions the same way, fall into them and allow yourself a moment there, experiencing all it’s deepest wrinkles and laughs and heartaches. And when you crawl out you’ll still be in your quiet little room because it need not take more than a few minutes.

Experience away, sail the flats, dips and climbs of your life. And try, somewhere along the line, to do it alone. Because you can’t share with the world your truths until you know them yourself, the way you were meant to know them.

Bom dia and good luck to us all.

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