15 Aug fear and beauty
“… and when they hugged they were each afraid to move, afraid that the slightest stirring would change the moment, that the smallest adjustment might be taken as an attempt to get out of the intimacy of a heartfelt embrace. And so there they stood, precariously between two 18 wheeled trucks, a vehicle smashed and torn to bits just feet away, sirens and lights going all around them, but they stood. Neither had their balance nor their pride.”
You aren’t beauty… there’s too many “beautiful” actors and actresses, models, people who have good proportions or symmetrical features, women who have big lips and a dainty nose, and long eyelashes, all of whom, to me, are generally just fairly easy to look at. Beauty is a totally different thing, one cannot be beautiful, beauty is something to be experienced and thus known.
We can’t draw these lines, trying to define beauty, it’s garbage, the whole lot of notions of beauty.
A woman walking down the street has a greater chance to be beautiful to me than a glorified court jester. Because there’s a moment where her foot lands just so and her hands hang so delicately but carelessly, and her smile radiates and her hair moves with her and I know in that moment that she feels beautiful and to me she is so beautiful as her and I, the stranger passing by, experience this moment together. I don’t care what you say, she experiences it with me because the observer always influences the subject.(https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/02/980227055013.htm)
But it’s a passing moment, no one was meant to be beautiful forever, and don’t damn the artists for trying to create something that would last forever, they’re human too, so their paintings and sculptures are just attempts to express it, thus know it, thus be it, the same way I write to understand and thus be, so if you’re going to damn them, damn me with them.
A beautiful moment will pass and if you’re not present enough to experience it then you’ll continue looking to Hollywood for beauty and having never experienced it in a moment with a stranger or your friend or lover, you’ll never really know what beauty is. Beauty isn’t a thing of the past. Whatever beauty you experience stays with you forever, in the eternal now that you are always living. Even as you look down at your hands now, or think of the past now, you can’t escape it so bring along what you’ve come to know, the infinite such as beauty.
So isn’t knowing the same as being and experiencing the first step in becoming? I don’t know for certain but people can stand around waiting for test results and long double blind studies to conclude to begin living but I will go with what is true in my heart and damn the rest as only one who is truly damned to live a rich life will do. I’m not afraid.