11 Oct Because I get fiery
There are escape artists, and there are arrival artists.
“To be in a constant state of arrival while always departing,” that’s the trick, I heard it said once.
I want the visceral, gripping experiences in my life that show me something more real than what is right in front of me. Sometimes it’s a daydream and I find my self mouthing the words that aren’t my own, that are given to me by the realm my mind and spirit are touching, because I elevate my mind and body.
I do not seek the escape of distraction. In fact, I despise it. It’s why bad television annoys me. It’s why people who are easily annoyed annoy me. Because if you distract yourself with such petty nuances, with details of details, you aren’t seeing the creation as a whole and it’s beauty and how all of the intricacies fit together.
I need Michaelangelos, not Rembrants.
I’m already self-conscious of the the self-centered nature of this post. But I’m also aware enough to know that selfishness is universal, and writing is being, it’s expressing.
Escape is fleeing the scene when challenges arrive. Instead, I wish to arrive with the challenge, to look it in the eye and understand it and have compassion with it so that I leave it better than before and ascend it. We’re all free to ascend but so many of us lay down in the presence of challenge and call it danger.
We tell one another to be safe and careful. Instead of living filled with care, live curiously. I want there to be more responsible children in the world. Exercise your right to question and wonder and be completely vulnerable to the point of no self consciousness, and then be responsible for what you come to know.
I used to hide my anger, my sadness, my feelings that weren’t positive. But I’m learning it’s the full spectrum of emotions that is beautiful, not just the good ones. Intelligence isn’t just the deep thoughts, it’s the range of connection between your way of thinking that makes you mindfully intelligent, and it’s the same way with your emotions.
Seek the expansion and discovery of emotional girth. To be stretched is to be known and to contract is to escape. Welcome whatever it is that asks to experience you (this means saying yes to what’s uncomfortable) and embrace the mysterious so that you might at least know it intimately for a moment, if not forever. Because we aren’t meant to know everything forever, we are meant to touch infinity with the breath of a moment, a brushing touch, the scent of someone, the whisper of the wind. It’s not what happens to us that makes us eternal, it’s how we are prepared to respond in our happenings to the world around us.
Perceive in the way you wish to be perceived: with grace and mercy, with faith in the goodness of another, with love and piercing honesty, with compassion and understanding, and with the absolute knowingness of our own insignificance juxtaposed on the infinite importance of this everlasting moment.
Do not take it for granted, and do not take it seriously.
To be in a constant state of departure, while always arriving, that’s the trick.