Here’s this new thing where I play a song and write as long as it’s playing:
Catching a snooping thought just as it starts it’s slope downhill.. it’s heroic, it’s feeding the poor, it’s running across the country or donating your life’s savings to charity. Slowing a negative snowball effect before it gather’s energy is one of the greatest gifts you can give the world around you.
Slow that bottomfeeding mentality over and over, a million times,ad infinitum until the thoughts have been nipped past the bud and the roots are ripped and burnt and you notice suddenly.. the bottomfeeding thoughts don’t try anymore. They just aren’t there.
And that’s relief.
Real relief, like a soccer player taking a seat after running for 45 minutes without stopping.. energy returns and makes itself so available to you. Beautiful thoughts arrive and are charged like a battery right off the line, fresh, new, and ready to work. It can’t be much better than that feeling.
Losing the natural inclination to feed on the bottom, to notice the bad things in others or the sorriness of the moment, the bitter flavors in the chocolate, the sour in the lemon.. that’s living life in with rose colored shades. It’s a little scary because we’ve all been raised in a world that provides the lessons on how things are from a single point of view and it’s up to us to step outside of ourselves and learn what we missed at age 20 or 30 or 50. We’ve been gypped on the methodology of wisdom. It’s all about how safe we can be, how to avoid the interactions that have any chance of hurting or loss. And yet, there’s always something more to the flavor! Can’t you taste how inherently sweet this moment is? How rich it is? It’s laying right alongside the bitter and sour. We aren’t numb to those things, we are simply appreciating them more because we savor the sweet and rich, we revel in it and thus notice it more the next time around.
It’s not fooling yourself if it’s true. Skepticism is a very real way to live. But I prefer the richness of the moments that I can’t predict. It’s not the safest but it compels me to keep on L-I-V-I-N.
You can have all of those known moments, give me the secret doorway to the back of the library. I’ll take the masked man over the recognized, the random box on Mario Kart, the mysterious over the obvious.
I’d rather lose one eye while living in technicolor than have both in a world that’s black and white.