09 Aug The Descent
Does anyone else feel the same way?
My life is series of groovy rhythms and nostalgic love songs.
“I feel pretty good today, like the kool aid I’m drinking is working. About time.” he paused, sipping his tea. “Sometimes it feels like a shit storm has covered the radar and it won’t ever clear up. ”
But sometimes clarity exists. It’s those moments that make everything else alright. As long as they keep coming..
“God if they ever stopped,” he shook his head, paused and shrugged.
“I suppose I’d have to find something else that made it all.. OK.”
I’m not so positive things are really ever supposed to be okay.. maybe it’s about just choosing to be okay with whatever is happening. Maybe that’s where the joy actually comes in.
that moment where you realize something might not be what you dreamed. in that moment your mind has finally realized the death of an idea and to your mind, all along, that’s been death itself.
Your sympathetic nervous system is activated because your mind has created a tiger and you are both fighting and flighting.. from the truth.
How embracing the truth is such a different experience. It’s jumping off a cliff, feeling the falls behind your back racing you, and screaming as loud as you ever will, holding the hand of someone you trust.
It’s truth you choose and truth that chooses you.
It doesn’t become okay in any passing moment, it becomes that way over many moments, usually in that one where you remember the first one.
Like they say, time doesn’t seem so slow in retrospect. It’s sped by, and thank God, you don’t have to experience it all again just to be grateful you’ve arrived. You’re here where everything at least feels okay. There will always be another experience on the horizon that may or may not need your abilities to recover, again. Focusing on this moment, when you’re sure of something, (i.e. you did recover from that last one) is that which makes it all okay.
In that moment you’re suddenly sure that you’ll be sure again. That the time between now and then may be filled with a lack of ease, but, at least you have now. And that’s what makes those growing pains okay, makes them seem like maybe even a little fun.
If you need someone to laugh with, come tell me your story. It’s always funnier when someone else doesn’t take it so seriously. That’s what friends are for.
Cause we’ve all had something hard happen that maybe we should share with someone else, because, undoubtedly, there’s someone out there who hasn’t experienced it of the same caliber as you. If they’re lucky they’ll be able to avoid it. And then you’ve really done that, you’ve really affected the universe.
Even if it’s just smiling and laughing with someone at work or school, if you can help them uncover just the smallest truth, you’ve shed some light into a cave where 7 billion people are hunched over their smart phones, unsure if it’s the sunlight or another commercial. But someone will recognize it because they’ve been looking for it.
don’t be afraid to start. Rome wasn’t built in a day (I really don’t like saying it).
it’s all a little hazy, like a Tokyo summer, but at least someone has given you a spotlight. Good luck.